


AwakeTheSnake (SFW) part of the #AwakeTheSnake celebration for the 1st July

by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Awake The Snake, Aziraphale Is Trying (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Comedy, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Fluff and Humor, Gen, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Snakes, Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), ace - Freeform, and two carrots, good morning Angel, good morning Crowley, snakey wakey, staged - Freeform, wakey snakey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapheapchallenge/pseuds/GayDemonicDisaster
Summary: Aziraphale hasn't been feeling himself lately, and is a little frustrated with rattling around the bookshop all on his own for a while, so decides to go and visit Crowley for when he wakes up from his nap on the 1st of July. Unfortunately there's a bit of a misunderstanding.I dropped some Staged easter eggs in here.Part of the #AwakeTheSnake celebration on twitter. Although I'm also up for #WakeySnakey #SnakeyWakey #GoodMorningCrowley #GoodMorningAngel #WakeUpCrowley as well. Take your pick.I wrote two fics for this occasion, much like I did for the lockdown video - one SFW and one NSFW, called "SnakeyWakey", pick whichever you prefer, or enjoy both, they have different storylines.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 134
Collections: AwakeTheSnake





	AwakeTheSnake (SFW) part of the #AwakeTheSnake celebration for the 1st July

Aziraphale knocked politely on Crowley’s door. He was early, he knew, but perhaps Crowley had woken early? The angel had been going batty rattling around the bookshop on his own for months on end. He’d been holding entire conversations with himself in lieu of having a convenient demon at the other end of a phone line to chat to. 

He had started to worry about himself a little, if he was honest. 

He’d started yelling at the pigeons outside. They reminded him of Gabriel. Little feathered shits.

One day he’d run out, his own wings spread wide, and chased them out of the backyard of the shop. Once they’d fled in a flurry of flapping feathers, his recycling box caught his eye - rather too full of empty wine bottles. The bin collectors wouldn’t take it away if it was too full. He wondered if he could get away with sneaking a few into his neighbour’s recycling bin instead. 

Still no answer at the door. 

Aziraphale sighed and fished in his pocket for the key that Crowley had given him, with instructions that he should feel free to come over and make himself at home at any time. Aziraphale hadn’t been sure what to do with that information so hadn’t acted on it yet, but he was itching to see the demon again, so no time like the present. He let himself in.

The angel placed the Victoria sponge cake he’d brought over on the kitchen counter and flicked the kettle on for a cup of tea. He put out two mugs so he could make one for Crowley too for when he’d woken up, then opened the fridge to get the milk. 

There was nothing in the fridge except for two carrots. Oh, and the remains of an easter egg. He shut the fridge door with a sigh. Time to look for Crowley. The plants seemed to have some kind of automatic watering system setup, fed from a hosepipe that disappeared into the bathroom. 

Crowley’s bedroom opened off the plant room through a pair of switchable glass doors that flipped between clear and opaque at the flick of a switch. He knocked quietly, then nudged one open into the darkened bedroom beyond. 

“Crowley?”

He peered at the lumpy duvet in the gloom. Stepping into the room he flicked the switch by the door that turned the glass clear again to let a little light in from the plant room, without turning on the main light, then approached the bed warily. 

The lump was not man-shaped. It was decidedly wiggly. 

“Crowley?”

No response. Aziraphale reached out and pulled back the duvet slightly, revealing a glimpse of shining dark scales. Understanding dawned. Crowley had decided to take his long nap in serpent form. 

“Crowley?” He petted the coils gently. They flinched but remained otherwise immobile. 

“It’s me, Aziraphale. It’s July, I brought cake…” He tugged the duvet a little further and revealed the serpent’s head. Its eyes weren’t closed of course, they couldn’t, he thought he remembered reading that somewhere once. He supposed that snakes just kind of zoned out while asleep. “Crowley? Wake up.” 

Azirpahale pulled the duvet off altogether. The snake wasn’t quite as large as he’d expected after all - most of the lumps had just been duvet. It was the size of a fairly ordinary boa constrictor, but darker. Now it moved, and flicked the air with its tongue curiously before turning it’s head to look at him, seemingly confused. 

“Oh, good morning, Crowley, did you sleep well? I brought you some cake.” Aziraphale beamed at him. The snake simply put it’s head down again and ignored him. 

“Now don’t be like that, it is July now after all, I thought you’d want a chat. I’ve got the kettle on, would you like some black coffee to perk you up a little?”

The snake continued to ignore him. _Oh dear._

_Had he said something wrong? Was Crowley in a mood with him for some reason?_

“Um, did I do something, Crowley? I… I’m dreadfully sorry if I’ve offended you in some way. Is this because I told you not to come around during lockdown? You know we mustn’t break the rules. But we’re allowed to visit now. We can catch up, I can tell you everything that’s been going on. It turns out the murder hornets weren’t really a thing after all and…” He broke off. 

The snake wasn’t responding whatsoever. 

“Crowley, really, you are being rather rude, you know. Will you look at me while I’m talking to you?”

The snake ignored him some more. 

“Now come on. Don’t be ridiculous, dear.” He reached over and picked the snake up, bringing it face to face with him. It wriggled and hissed. “ _Really_ , Crowley, don’t be childish! Now will you change back and have a civilized conversation with me?”

The snake wriggled furiously, hissing in alarm. Aziraphale let it go, worried. 

“Good heavens, Crowley, have you _forgotten_ how to change back? Are you _stuck_ like this?” Aziraphale looked panicky. He didn’t have the faintest clue how to help change someone else’s corporation back again. “Oh Crowley, what can I do? How can I help? How long have you been like this?”

The snake wriggled away from him, distrusting, slithered off the bed and made its way to the plant room, where it began to climb one of the larger potted plants, trying to hide. 

“Crowley, come back here, I need to _help_ you, for goodness sake, whatever can I do? Oh _heavens_ , dear what if you’re stuck like this forever? Oh _Crowley…_ ” Aziraphale began to cry, and grabbed hold of the snake again, pulling it back out of the small tree it had wound itself into. It hissed again and pulled back harder, trying to get away, then slipped free, causing the angel to fall to the floor with it.

That’s when he heard the front door open. 

A moment later, Crowley walked into the plant room carrying a couple of shopping bags. He dropped them on the floor.

He stared at Aziraphale, sitting on the floor with armfuls of struggling, hissing snake. Aziraphale stared back, then down at the very disgruntled serpent in his arms. 

“Crowley?” he asked it. 

Crowley, in the doorway replied. “Uh… yes?”

Aziraphale looked up again in confusion, then back down at the snake. 

“Angel, did you think that Annabelle was… was _ME_?” 

“Annabelle?”

“Yeah, I’ve been pet sitting her for my neighbour. He knows I’m good with reptiles.”

“She was in your _bed_ , Crowley…”

“She looks nothing _like_ me, Aziraphale!” Crowley was thoroughly insulted. Annabelle didn’t even have any red markings, and was about an eighth of his serpentine size. 

“She was in your _bed…_ . Oh. _Oh my_. Oh I’m so sorry, is she…?”

“Bloody hell what on _earth_ are you insinuating now, Aziraphale? No, I don’t have a bloody snake girlfriend. She’s a _pet_ for crying out loud, that’s not how this works! She likes crawling in there sometimes because it’s warm, I’ve got a heated blanket on the mattress.”

Aziraphale let go of the snake, who gave him a dirty look and slithered up to Crowley, who lifted her gently and petted her soothingly. “There there, did uncle Aziraphale scare you? I’m sorry sweetheart, let’s get you back to your vivarium again, come on…” He carried her through to the second bedroom where a huge glass tank had been set up, and popped Annabelle in under the heat lamp. Crowley slid the door shut and stomped back to a very shamefaced Aziraphale, flinging him a dirty look. 

“She looks nothing _like_ me.” He muttered. 

Aziraphale stood and dusted himself off, trailing after Crowley to the kitchen where he had begun unpacking the shopping bags. Crowley poured some tea for Aziraphale and coffee for himself, then passed the mug over to the angel wordlessly. He finished putting the shopping away then slunk over to sit on the sofa to sip his coffee while Aziraphale sat on the other end of the sofa, nervously drinking his tea. 

“I _still_ can’t you believe you thought Annabelle was me.” Crowley muttered darkly. 

“Crowley I am _so_ sorry…”

“I mean d’you think all snakes look the same? Should I just look out the window and start yelling “HI AZIRAPHALE!” at every blonde woman who walks down the street?”  
  
“Crowley I really am sorry, it was dark in there, and I’ve never known you have another snake in here, and I expected to find you here asleep and…”

Crowley sighed. “Fine, I suppose it’s an easy mistake to make after all. I still can’t believe you thought she was some kind of, of, of… whatever you thought she was to me. Aziraphale, that’s just _WEIRD._ She’s an _animal.”_

Aziraphale blushed and avoided his gaze, desperately hoping they could get off the subject. 

“So when did you wake up then?”

“A few days ago, when Salim called me and asked me to petsit for him.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me you were awake?” Aziraphale was quite hurt, he thought that he’d be the first person Crowley would talk to after he woke up. 

“Well…” Crowley looked guilty. “I kind of wanted to surprise you, if you must know. Bit late for that now though. I just popped out to get some supplies from the shops because I wanted to cook a nice dinner and invite you over.” He trailed off and stared into the depths of his coffee cup, chewing on his lip nervously. 

“Dinner?”

“Mmmmyeeeeaaaaahhh…… um.”

“Oh Crowley, that sounds delightful. Thank you.”

“‘S’not a surprise now though.” Crowley looked downcast. 

“Look Crowley, I feel terrible for messing this all up, how about I make us dinner, or we both make it together?” Crowley looked up, hopeful. 

“Yeah, why not?”

Crowley plucked some green beans, tomatoes, strawberries, rosemary, oregano, sage and basil from his plant room and brought them through to the kitchen. He set about chopping the vegetables while Aziraphale hulled some of the strawberries for dessert. 

They boiled up some pasta while Aziraphale prepared a sauce with the tomatoes and herbs. He chopped up some onion, sautéed it then stirred it in. Crowley sliced up some parma ham, then some small pieces of chorizo to mix into the sauce. He cut some chicken into cubes and seared them in olive oil with minced garlic and herbs, cooked them thoroughly, added a splash of red wine, then stirred in the herb and tomato sauce. He added a tiny splash of balsamic vinegar as well.

Aziraphale drained the pasta while Crowley roughly chopped more fresh basil to stir in and sprinkle on top, stirred it through then poured some over each portion of the pasta, sprinkled some cut pieces of wafer thin parma ham over the top and set them on the table with some nice wine from the climate controlled cabinet in the kitchen. 

Aziraphale snapped up some miraculously still fresh crusty bread he’d baked at home to summon it over, warmed it and spread some creamery butter on the slices, with which to mop up the sauce at the end.

Aziraphale beamed at the results of their work. “Oh Crowley, this is delightful. À ta santé.” He chinked their glasses and tucked in, making happy little noises that made the demon forgive him completely for the earlier misunderstanding. Crowley watched, rapt, trying to hide his delighted smile at seeing his Angel enjoying food again.

After the pasta, they enjoyed Aziraphale’s cake with the addition of fresh strawberries from Crowley’s plants, then retired to the sofa to watch a recording of the last night of the Proms from the Royal Albert Hall from last year on Crowley’s huge flatscreen TV. 

“So, did you sleep well, Crowley?” Aziraphale asked at last. 

Crowley shrugged. 

“I was dreaming about pineapples. Kept trying to draw one but it looked like shit.”

“Oh I’m sure it wasn’t. I’ve been practising painting while you were asleep as it happens, look…” Azirpahale snapped and summoned a watercolour he’d painted at home when he got bored of the cakes. Crowley started on incredulously.

“You did that?”

“Yes, just this morning.”

“Fuck off, you did not paint that this morning.”

“Yes I did.”

“You _did_ not paint that this morning.”

“I DID!”  
  
“I don’t believe you!” 

“You were drawing pineapples.”

“In my dreams, and my pineapples were _shit_.”

“Oh I’m sure they just needed a bit of shading, maybe a bit of charcoal.”

“Oh shut up.”

“Are you angry with me for having a hobby?”

“Evidently.”

Aziraphale smiled at him, teasing. Crowley finally crumpled and grinned back, collapsing into helpless giggles. 

“I missed you, y’know, you daft Angel.”

“I missed you too, you dreadful Demon.”

“If they lockdown again, say you’ll stay here with me, yeah?”

“Of course, Crowley, I’d like nothing more. Shall we watch some Bake Off next?”

“Yeah.”

After a while, Aziraphale stretched out on the sofa a little, and Crowley found himself leaning against the warm softness of the Angel, content. Aziraphale’s arm came around his shoulders in a gentle hug, and the demon rested his head against the angel’s shoulder happily. 

“Thanks, Aziraphale.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to read my NSFW fic for today, click here: [SnakeyWakey](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004125)


End file.
